This essay compares two different versions of the same story written by Raymond Carver. It focuses on the story “Where is Everyone?” and the edited version titled “Mr. Coffee and Mr. Fixit”. Highlighting some changes in editing, this essay evaluates the subsequent differences in the meaning of the story. While the vast deletion and some precise paraphrasing has affected the story to be more straightforward, the title amendment and removing some vital episodes suggest inappropriate changes. The title in the original version is more provocative and alarming. The title is not merely inquiring about others, but it also denotes the loneliness of the protagonist. The question mark in “Where is Everyone?” suggests rhetoric and qualifies the title with persuasion. The original version of the story complains the absence of others and leads the story to start with a coherent and distinctive tone. In the edited version the title consists of two male names “Mr. Coffee and Mr. Fixit”, by which the protagonist refers to Ross in a contemptuous way. Although these names correspond to some details in the story such as Ross’s working background, in comparison with the original title, it is less provocative.
These pejorative names of Ross subordinated to a fraction of the story and, therefore, it does not self-evidently associate to the overall theme of the story. Furthermore, the title of the original story comes from the text, where the narrator says, “I don’t know where everyone is at home” (19). In the edited version the whole paragraph has been deleted. Therefore, it seems that changing the title is an inevitable choice rather than a deliberate decision or a successful action in favour of the story.
The original story is thirteen pages which has been truncated by the editor to only three pages. In addition to deleting many details of the story, the editor has also removed some significant episodes from the original text. The episodes which are deleted include the narrator’s calling to his mother and to the woman “six hundred miles away” (19). More importantly, the fictional family from an Italian novel is also removed in the edited story. Before the narrator became an alcoholic, he used to read that novel, in which the father of the imaginary family, right before the moment of his death, stands up and slaps his son on the face. Another episode which is removed in the edited version is about Mike, the narrator's son, who once "locked his mother out of the house" (14), because she had spent the whole night out with Ross. These two last episodes are narrated one after another in the original version of the story, and respectively indicate the relationships between the father and his son, and the son with his mother. The recollection of reading the Italian novel signifies that the protagonist is not happy with his own children and from long ago he has been contemplating their punishment because the children “take advantage of this crumbling situation” (13). The second episode involves the status of children in an alcoholic and broken family, which seems closely related to the subject of the story. The first episode indirectly discloses the grudge of the alcoholic father, while the second episode indirectly alerts about the son and the situation of all younger members of the family. Therefore, the extensive deletion by the editor has made the story lose the very relevant incidents that would have otherwise contributed to further compilation of the story.
In the edited version, various duplicated and supplementary details have been deleted, also many sentences are paraphrased. The rewriting and avoidance of repetition have changed the story to be more straightforward and easily readable. One of many examples of the cases of preventing repetition is where the narrator explains about his mother. In the original story, the narrator says, “[m]y mother is sixty-five and lonely” (11), while in the edited story, the extra detail of ‘and lonely’ has been deleted because the following sentence adequately explains the status of the mother, “[s]he belongs to a singles club” (11). Likewise, the editor has also removed those extra details which are not in favour of the development of the story. “[T]he TV was going on the other side of the room” (11) has shortened to “the TV was going”. While the deletion of repetitions and unnecessary details, has contributed to shortening the story, the paraphrasing and changing some sentences into the more active and direct voice, has provided the story with the tangible tone. For instance, instead of “her mother had gone bail for him” (12), in the original story, the edited version states “my wife went bail” (18). In addition to rewriting sentences and removing unnecessary details, the edited version has benefited from some precise summarising as well. In the longer version of the story, the narrator ridicules his wife’s words as she says that Ross “collected antique cars” (18). The narrator comments upon those cars as “[o]ld 1950s and 1960s, dented cars with torn seat covers. They were junkers, that's all” (12), but in the edited story, those details are summarised to “two busted Plymouths in the yard” (18).
There are some other changes by the editor which seem not to have a significant effect on the author’s work in either way. For example, some characters are given different names, such as the name of the wife has changed from Cynthia to Myrna, and the name of the daughter Katy has replaced by Melody. The most vivid difference is the rather ending of the story in the edited version. In the edited story, the narrator suggests his wife hug each other as she returns home and cooks him supper, (20) while in the longer story the narrator has been abandoned in the midst of ‘cold 'light and shoutings’. In the edited version the narrator and his wife are getting together. Nevertheless, the substantial deletions have driven the short story towards more minimalism, but it does not seem that the main character has very much affected.
Reference
Carver, Raymond. "Where is Everyone?" TriQuarterly, vol. 48, 1980, pp. 203. ProQuest, https://search-proquest-com.ezproxy.uws.edu.au/docview/1311924475?accountid=36155.
Carver, Raymond. What We Talk about When We Talk about Love. 2009.
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